I’ve been in a season of long, dry, and silent waiting. This season is when almost everything in my life is up in the air. Absolutely nothing is for sure. Career. Relationship and future family. My home. Financial stability. 

Waiting seasons are hard because of the deafening silence in them. I have felt as if the Lord has completely forgotten me. Forgotten the desires of my heart. That He will come back to the plan for my life later after he crafts and directs the lives of those around me. 
I have been crying out to the Lord to direct me. Show me what decision I should be making. what path I should take. And over and over I hear one of two things: nothing. or “be patient”. 
Be patient is almost worse than silence, I think. Because I’ll step out in faith and make a decision for myself. Put myself out there, trusting that I am using the Lord’s judgement. He is very quick to say “no. be patient. i have something else".
At least when I hear silence, I can keep going with that decision. When I hear “be patient” I don’t get to follow that path, but I’m also not given direction for another path. So I am left.  Waiting. Trusting (not really). Hoping that I am not forgotten. 

I have began to identify and call out the lies that have crept into my mind and heart during this waiting period. Because it is so easy to hear lies when you hear nothing else around you.

I am forgotten.
I am not good enough.
I am not worthy.
I am not worth my desires.
I have incorrect passions.
I don’t do enough for the Lord.
I won’t make a difference.

It’s lies that we all hear at one point or another. They are very easy to believe. Especially when you feel like the Lord is not loudly and holding counter-arguing those lies and speaking truth into your life. 

But here are some things I have learned and am currently learning while sitting here waiting. Some on my own, and some through others speaking these things into my life.

Speak out the lies in your mind. Do not let them sit. Because when they sit inside, they have the power to change your heart and perception. We have the authority to take the power out of any and every lie. That authority is from the Lord and it lives within us. Speak them out and speak against them. There are times when all we can hear are the lies. We can’t root ourselves in the truth of the Lord because we have become so caught up in the lies. Don’t beat yourself up when this happens. Lies are powerful. The devil is powerful. If he wasn’t, life would be easy and rid of temptations and evil. But in that moment, have someone else, who can hear the Lord, come and speak that truth over you. They can use their authority of the Lord to command the power out of those lies. 

Call the Lord on his promises.

Express to Him that you feel forgotten. That you feel like He has left you. That He doesn’t have a plan for you. That He doesn’t know the desires of your heart. He has made promises to us, and will be faithful to them, But it’s OK to get upset and call the Lord on it. He wants your anger and frustration and confusion. He can handle it. He’s a pretty tough guy.

Here are some of the hundreds of promises He has given to us:

Psalm 23 - "The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for You are with me. Your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."

Psalm 34:7 - “Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart”

Psalm 20:4 - “May He grant you your heart's desire and fulfill all your plans!”

Hebrews 13:5 - “God has said, “never will I leave you; never will I forsake you’ “

Psalm 119:90  “Your faithfulness endures to all generations; You have established the earth, and it stands fast”

1 Chronicles 28:20 “Be strong and courageous and do it. Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed, for the Lord God, even my God, is with you. He will not leave you or forsake you, until all the work for the service of the House of the Lord is finished”

Genesis 28:15 - “Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land. For I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you”

Psalm 94:14 - “For the Lord will not forsake his people; He will not abandon his heritage” 

Isaiah 43:2 “When you go through deep waters, I will be with you”

Remember what the Lord has done for you.

Yes throughout your life, but also far before that. I definitely forget the weight of the sacrifice that was made far before I was born. The weight of Jesus dying on the cross for us. He gave us the ultimate act of good faith. He made a statement that is more than we can ever repay. And yet I still constantly forget and cry out to the Lord asking if He is still good. When I put it into words, it seems silly. how could I doubt the one person who has already given it all for me?
But that is being human. Being so incredibly imperfect that I can even forget the sacrifice that was made for me. 

In twelve hours I may forget everything I’ve written here and need to be reminded of it. In fact, I can almost guarantee that I’ll need to be reminded of it very soon. Because doubt begins to creep back in and I lose sight of the truth that is all around me. But that’s life, and I’ll continue to surround myself with people and things that speak this truth over me and remind me of it constantly.

xx Syd