"Enjoy singleness while you have it."
"You only get to be single for so long."
"Don't you want a boyfriend?"
These are some typical lines that come up when the topic of relationships arise. Everyone trying to give their unwarranted encouragement or sympathy or tips about singleness.
Singleness has this awkward feeling around it in conversations. It's not taboo. People talk about it all the time. But how I usually hear it talked about it is one of two ways:
1. I am a strong independent woman and I don't need a man. I thrive in singleness.
2. I just want to be married and start and family already. I seriously can not wait another day.
Both of which are fine. I am a strong independent woman, I don't need a man. But do I want to get married and have a family? Yes. Do I get that little feeling of longing in my heart when my friends talk about their serious relationships, engagements, and marriages? Yes. But through all of it, I am also growing everyday in relationships that are right in front of me.
While I am in the waiting for a relationship, I am consistently growing and developing in my relationship with myself and the Lord.
You matter just as much as your future husband. So why not invest in yourself? For some people this means going off on crazy, solo adventures in foreign countries. That sounds incredible to me, but not to my budget. There are so many more ways to grow in the relationship you have with yourself.
I am never more fired up than when I end a book, and want to change everything in my life. Half of those things never end up being implemented for more than 24 hours, but there's usually at least one thing I take from each piece I read. There are mindset shifts, pieces of joy and inspiration that I carry with me for months to come.
If you are looking for inspiration for your next book to read, look at our Book List! It has so many books that we have read or are planning to read that are incredible.
Get Used to Being Alone
This sounds like an insult someone would say to tell you that you'll never end up with a partner. I promise you it's not. But I want you to ask yourself how natural it is for you to be alone. Is it comfortable for you to have nothing to do for a day except be with yourself? Can you sit through a long car ride with just yourself? Do you like being with yourself? If you answered no to any of those, I would suggest diving deeper into that.
What is it that makes you uncomfortable about being alone with yourself? Is it lies that come up? Is it dealt with pain or hurt? Is it that you just haven't ever spent time with yourself? Dig into what your answer is. You are uniquely and wonderfully made, and I want you to believe that! Get to know the deep and intimate parts of your heart before you start to get to know those parts of someone else's heart.
Take Jesus on a Date
He wants to go on a date with you. I know that one for a fact. How often is it that we would reschedule everything for a best friend, but when it comes to Jesus, we would much rather have that extra 30 minutes on Instagram? I am not trying to shame anyone here. I am so guilty of this, it's such a natural tendency! But Jesus wants us to tell him the inner workings of our heart and mind.
It sounds so cheesy and conservative to say "let Jesus be your boyfriend", but Jesus said that he will give you the desires of your heart, if you delight in him (Psalm 37:4). If you are longing for that relationship, so that you can have someone to share everyday life with, be vulnerable with, and have someone to love you - you have someone who gave His entire life for you.
You have someone who died so that He could go on a date with you. Several dates. For the rest of your life.
Find that rest and satisfaction in Him. He knows the desires of your heart. He wants to give them to you. Run into His arms, and let Him hold you and love you. Let Him show you the ultimate relationship that will never fail.
Singleness is hard. I have constant longing in my heart to be in an earthly relationship. But in the waiting, I know that I have people to develop relationships with. I have myself to grow and love and I have Jesus who is here to walk with and love me. He is here to listen to the inner workings of my heart.